


Once upon a December

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Marauders' Era, Romance, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2004-09-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus dreams of a fairy tale life, but it doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once Upon A Time

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

  
_Dancing bears, painted wings,_

Things I long to remember 

__

Things my heart used to know 

__

Once upon a December

__

-Anastasia

"Once upon a time, far, far away there lived a lonely princess..."

"Why was she lonely, mommy?"

"...Well... because she was...different from the others..."

"Why?"

"Be quiet, Remus I want to hear the rest of the story..."

"Okay children... where was I...oh, yes... The princess was lonely, and she cried all the time. She cried day in and day out without rest. Now there was no one who dared to visit the beautiful maiden because she had a dark secret..."

"What was it, mommy?"

"Well, Remus you see, at night time when the moon was high in the sky the princess turned into a beast..."

"Ooo!" Both of the boys who were sitting by their mother cooed. Their mother continued.

"The princess longed for the day when a prince, on a white horse would come and save her..."

The smaller of the two had brown hair and dull brown eyes, that were are the moment bright and keen. Remus Jason Lupin, was his name and he was the youngest of three, in the Lupin family. One, of the other two children was a boy as well, though he was three years older than the smallest, he had brown hair and brown eyes as well. The girl was the middle of the three she had long hair though it was brown like her brothers, and so were her eyes, though at that moment they were closed, as she had fallen asleep.

"...And the princess' mother, the queen said, "Be safe my princess." and the princess and her new bow rode off into the sun. The end. Alright, children that's it for tonight..."

"Aw... Mum!" said the eldest boy.

"No, Romolus. You see Athena is already asleep."

"But Remus isn't..."

"No more, Romolus you're off to bed, and so are you Remus. Off, both of you!" The boys stood up grudgingly, and went to there beds. There mother gathered the little girl, named Athena, in her arms, and went to tuck the others in. When she got to Remus, he was still wide awake.

"Mommy?" he said quietly.

"Yes, sweety?"

"Will I ever have a prince?" His mother sat down on his bed, as she was surprised by the absurd question.

"Oh, Remus dear, you're a boy. Boys are princes, not princesses. And yes, I suppose you will have a princess one day."

"On a white horse?"

"Perhaps..."

"Will we live happily ever after, forever?

"I shouldn't wonder..."

"Wow!" His mother laughed and kissed her son on his forehead . Then she hummed to him, a tune that she had hummed to him ever since he could remember. Soon he was asleep. But not for long. Later that night Remus awoke and climbed out of his bed. The cold December winds blew outside. Remus could hear the wind howl. He walked to the french doors of the room he and his brother shared . He opened one and stepped outside. His small bare feet were cold to the ground. The cool night air was welcoming, and soon Remus was humming dreamily. Tiptoeing around in his PJ's. He hummed the tune his mother sung to him every night. In no time Remus was spinning into the near by forest in there backyard . The night air seemed to spin around him, and support him as he pranced deeper into the woods. The high full moon shone brightly in the sky.

"Why prince, I'd love to..."

Remus bowed as if to accept a dance from someone, then he waltzed through the trees. Spinning into darkness. A dance with wolves. Bowing into fate. Crimson blood flowed out from someone too young to feel such pain. The full moon made it sparkle.

"Rrringggg!!!" went the magical alarm clock by his bed . A long boney arm stretch out from the bed, and hit the alarm clock . It stopped immediately. The boy got up grudgingly. He walked over to the mirror. There stood sixteen year old Remus Jason Lupin. Medium height, and too skinny for most to bare. His hair was no longer brown but a soft tawny colour mixed in with gray, and was cut at the nape of his neck . His eyes, perhaps the most intriguing of all were no longer brown, but gold.

Remus sighed as he rubbed his unhuman eyes. Tears threaten to fall, but he didn't cry. It had been the third night he had, had that dream. Or rather, a nightmare of his past. Ten Years ago tomorrow. It always happened that way every year. The dreams than the pain. But this year he wouldn't cry.

There was a swift knock at the door of his room. Remus went to answer it. It was Romolus his older brother. He was visiting for the holidays.

"Hey, gonna let me in, or are you just gonna stare at me?" "Well the latter doesn't sound too bad." Remus jokes dryly. then he moves aside to let his brother in. "I haven't dressed yet..." "Well, Dad told me to tell you that Sirius owled, he'll be here in a few... have you been crying?"

"No." Remus said shortly. Romolus stared. He knew his brother too well, and he also knew what this time of the year meant. "Remus..."

"I need to get ready." Remus turned to his trunk that was set to go back to school with him . He started to put a few things in it. Romolous rounded on him.

"Why do you always do that?" he asked his younger brother, who was busy with unnecessary activities. As if to throw Romolous of the subject, he said, "I don't have time to chat." Romolous threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"You never have "time". You avoid me, you avoid Athena, Mum, Dad... when will you have time, huh? When will you stop shutting yourself in your room all the time. " Remus turned to face Romolous. His unnatural eyes were flamed.

"You have no clue, no clue, what it's like. Ever since I told them I was gay they shut me out!"

"Only because you shut them out..." Remus sighed and sat down on his bed. Romolous sat beside him.

"They don't understand me." Remus affirmed quietly. "They want to Rem, you just have to give them a chance. You're in your last year at Hogwarts and you'll be moving out this summer. What are gonna do run away from your family? Leave us to wonder about you?"

"No, leave you to forget."

"Huh?"

"Every since I changed, it's been hard on all of you. I know because I was there. Lurking in the shadows, pretending to be invisible. Wolves don't like to be alone, Rom, but I did fine by myself. When I went to Hogwarts a year early, they said I was a genius. Then, it was proven to me, that all that reading in solitude worked for the best. Being alone has it's benefits."

"Rem, I know it's been hard for you, and we only wanted the best for you..."

"But at what cost? At what cost would you stake your lives on a damned creature like me. It was in vain..."

"You'll find love, Rem..."

"Yes, someone to share my loneliness..." Romolous looked at Remus keenly.

"Remus do you remember that story Mum read us? The night you wondered away."

"Of course, it's the only thing I remember , about before it happened."

"You loved it..." 

Remus smiled thoughtfully.

"Yes, I always said I wanted to be rescued by a prince, on a white horse..." 

Romolous chuckled.

"Oh, yes then you knew you were gay." 

Remus playfully punched his older brother.

"Ha Ha, very funny." Then he saw the look on his brothers face and sobered .

"You'll be rescued, Rem."

"By Sirius..."

"Perhaps..."

"He is my Black night?" Remus pondered out loud.

"I shouldn't wonder..." 

There was a moment of silence. Romolous spoke up.

"Something else is wrong, it there." 

Remus nodded suddenly looking like a small child.

"I think Sirius and I are drifting apart. I think it's my fault." 

Romolous looked at Remus knowingly. 

"You're afraid he isn't the one." he said as a statement rather than a question.

"Yes" Remus said. "I'm pushing him away. Even though the wolf needs a mate. Rom, I'm scared. " Romolous pulled him into a hug. After a while Remus sat up and dried his eyes.

"I'll let you get ready, okay." He clapped Remus on the back of the shoulder as he left.

Downstairs Sirius Black, who had just shown up at the Lupin manor, was being tyrannized by the Lupin patriarch Lowell Lupin.

"So you want to be an Aruor?"

"Yes sir."

"Are you insane, or do you just have a death wish?" 

Romolous saw this and ran to Sirius' rescue.

"Uh Dad, Mum wants you in the kitchen." he lied .

"What? Uh tell her I'm going out...nice to see you again, Sirllius."

"It's Sirius, sir. Sirius."

"Yeah Sirmius, whatever." 

Mr Lupin grabbed his jacket, and hastily walked out of the door. Romolous laughed at the puzzled look on Sirius' face.

"Gets him every time..." he explained.

"Is he afraid of the kitchen?"

"No, he's afraid of Mum . She makes him do chores. He doesn't like to. He says, `I pay the bills, I don't run the mills.' Drives Mum crazy."

"What does?" said a voice from behind them. Sirius turned around and there stood a tall girl with pretty long brown hair and dark brown eyes. Sirius knew at once it was Athena, though he hadn't seen her in a while, she hadn't changed.

Romolous explained what had just happened to a very interested Athena as Remus came down the stairs. He had on Muggle jeans and a plaid button up shirt. Sirius smiled at his boyfriend, and Remus smiled back.

"Hey" Remus said putting his things down to hug Sirius. Sirus kissed him on the cheek .

"Hey. Are you ready?"

"Yeah,..." 

Then someone cleared their throat from the dinning room." Remus turned. His mother was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She was smiling; her eyes were bright.

"You weren't gonna leave without saying good bye, were you?" Remus smiled and released his hold on Sirius. He walked to his mom and hugged her tight.

"Be safe my princess." she whispered sweetly to her youngest son. Remus smiled knowingly. I had been the first thing him mother had said to him about that night since "it" happened . Remus looked back at Sirius, who was waiting, and for the first time it didn't hurt, to remember. "Be safe my princess." The words were queer and simple, but they meant more to Remus. They spoke of the acceptance, he longed to hear. He had so much to tell his mother. There was so much he had kept inside. But all he could say was.

"I will." 

Remus bided his brother and sister so long. Romolous told him to keep in touch, and Remus promised he would. Then he and Sirius tied there trunks to Sirius' motorbike, and bewitched them to fly. Then, they jumped on and flew of into the sun.


	2. Unspoken Heartache

__

Someone holds me safe and warm

__

Horses prance through a silver storm

__

Figures dancing gracefully

__

Across my memory

__

When they arrived at James' house, James was in the yard of the Potter mansion waving happily at them. His family's house was big. Which stood to reason, since his dad was Minister of magic before he died.

"Hey Jamie!" Sirius said happily.

"Padfoot, Moony, what took you two so long?"

"It was my fault I wasn't ready." Remus related. Sirius was about to say other wise when a Muggle taxi pulled up. Remus, who had never seen anything like it stared.

"I ordered one. Pretty neat, huh?" James said.

"What is it?" Remus asked. Sounding like a little child who was fascinated by a new toy.

"It's a taxi, sweets. Muggles use it for transportation." Sirius contended smoothly.

"I suppose we should get in too, inpatient, those things are." James pronounced causally. They all grabbed there trunks and made there way towards the foreign car.

When they arrived to Kings Cross they caught up with Peter and got on board. The whole train ride was silent, until James and Peter left to find the food trolley. Then Sirius turned on Remus.

"Are you okay?"

"No," Remus said blankly.

"Do you want to tell me why?

"Not really."

"Can I guess?" Sirius asked irritably.

"I just need rest, Sirius." and with that Remus turned around in his seat and closed his eyes. They didn't speak of the pain they felt, because they were drifting apart. They didn't speak of their heartache. They didn't speak at all.

That night, Sirius and Remus slept apart.


	3. Not Prince Perfect

Remus awoke the first morning back from Christmas break, to yelling.

"No!!"

"Sirius!! What's wrong?" At that Remus got out of bed. He looked around the room, and he saw Sirius lying on the floor in a fetal position. James was crouch over him. "Sirius?" Remus whispered quietly. Then Sirius started to rock back in forth saying, "No, no, no." Remus looked at James pleadingly, when he sat down beside Sirius to try to comfort him. Then Sirius cried, "He's dead,"

"Who's dead." Remus said quietly as if to sooth him. James suddenly had a knowing look on his face. Then Sirius said, "My father."

That day Sirius was in the hospital wing and didn't request visitors, so Remus and James were stuck. Peter, feeling very uncomfortable, pleaded homework and left for the library. Remus and James sat together on James' bed. They sat in a comfortable silence until James spoke up.

"He was hardly ever home."

"Sirius' dad?" Remus asked.

"Yeah,.. Sirius loved him, though. But ever since Clair got a job, he stayed away." Remus remembered Clair. She was Sirius' mom.

She'd rather her son call her by her name. Had to do with being a young mom, Remus guessed. James kept speaking.

"He liked to be around only when things were adverse. When things got better for them, he wasn't around. He liked to rub his good fortune in Clair's face." There was another minute of silence as the words sank in.

"Remus?" James said quietly as if he were shy. Remus knew that wasn't the case.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Do you love Sirius?"

"What?" Remus asked taken aback by the question.

"Do you love him, or do you just need him?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Remus asked standing up

bracingly. James stood his ground. "I know you want a perfect boyfriend, Remus..."

"Who doesn't?" Remus stated trying to hold in his rising anger.

"Sirius is far from perfect, and it's tearing you up inside,..."

"No,..."

"You want him to hold you up. To help you..."

"Shut up!!" Remus practically yelled. James stood.

"Why, Remus? Because I'm right? Well guess what, That's what he wants from you!"

"How do you know?!" Remus said as if he were breathing fire.

"Do you think I'm blind?! You're both falling and you're grabbing on to each other for support. Which one is going to hit the bottom first, huh? You!? Or him!?" James paused to catch his breath.

Remus collapses back on the bed. "Remus, you're both my best friends in the world, and I love you both, but I can't just stand by and watch you plummet."

"I can't do it..." Remus finally says. "I can't say with him..."

"Why? Because he's not perfect. "

"No because I'm not... James there is no way I can help him, when I'm confused myself."

"But that makes you qualified, Moon. You can only help him when you're down like him." James smiled. "Beside you're the best one for the job." Remus smiled at that, and looked at his feet. Then he said, "Jamie, Do you know what today is?" James looked puzzled. "It's been exactly ten years since I was bit." James looked at Remus sadly. Then Remus said. "Will you say with me when the sun

goes down? I don't want to be alone." James looked up, pleadingly. "Oh, Remus I couldn't, I..."

"Sirius would if he were well, but you're the next best thing." James smiled solemnly.

"Okay."

At dusk James and Remus went down to the shack together.


	4. Starting Over

Sirius was out of the hospital the next day. James caught him up on his and Remus' conversation. Then he gave them directions on "starting over". They both agreed to rebuild their relationship. `Easier said than done' thought Remus. Sirius spent that Saturday sleeping in, but was awaken by a knock on the door.

"Come in..." Sirius turned and saw it was Remus.

"How are you?" Remus asked Sirius as he stood by his bedside in their dorm.

"Better." Remus hovered by his bedside.

"Do mind if I sit?" he asked mindfully.

"Did I ever mind?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius, If we're going to start over, we have to do it right." Remus related taking a seat. Sirius looked at Remus carefully, his gray eyes honest.

"So, were starting at the very beginning,..." he started carefully. "Before we were even friends... right?"

"No, just before we were more than that." Remus expressed.

"We've always been "more than that". We just didn't know it." Remus sighed.

"So what are you saying? Are you saying that we're worse than before?"

"Good!" Sirius said animatedly. "See I knew you'd catch on..." Remus glared.

"I'm trying to make this work!" Remus retorted not so calmly.

"Well, stop. You're going to hurt yourself... No! Remus, that's not what I meant..." Sirius said trying to hold Remus down, for he was trying to get up. "What I meant is... stop following James' instructions. Be yourself. I love you that way." Remus stopped struggling at the words he had just heard. He didn't believe his ears.

"What?" he asked calmly. "I said, I love you, Moon." 

Then he leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Remus blushed a fetching red, and smiled shyly.

"I love you too."

Sirus pulled Remus in bed with him, and they snogged and fooled around for the rest of the morning.


End file.
